Opera Man

Comedian. Actor. Singer. That’s three words you might use when talking about me.

Want another one? Well, how about MODEL!?!? No, I am not kidding, I am the new, fresh poster boy of NO!, the Opera house here in northern Sweden.

My face is going to be plastered all over town promoting their Fall 2012 shows. And not only is my face on the cover of their program, it’s also going to be on a billboard in front of the Opera building!

A minor quibble though if I’m honest, ehm, nothing big, but I would have preferred not having to wear the sack over my head so only my eye is visible.. But I guess that’s what you have to accept when you are chosen to do a promo for the Opera’s production of The Elephant Man, premiering October 6.

The talented Jakob Arevärn directed the photo shoot. Check him out here, he’s done some great/crazy music videos.

Related articles

• The Opera Lounge: Your Dream Role (mandolinvision.blogspot.com)
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• Londondimma över operahösten (vk.se)

Bruce Willis Hair

I’ve started to get Bruce Willis hair.

I’m not totally bald, but I’ve noticed that my hairline has started to recede a bit. If it continues I will soon look like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. And soon after that like Bruce Willis in Die Hard 4…

I complained about it to my 86-year-old grandma. I’ve heard hair loss is inherited from her side of the family (I think I learnt that from an old episode of Seinfeld) so I wanted her to explain herself for giving me this curse and perhaps even give me an apology.

She didn’t. But she did give me a cure for it. She told me to start eating vitamin B. She said that helped my uncle when he experienced the same thing at my age.

Grandma then went on to tell me how to cure warts if I ever got any of those. Back in the 1930’s her father got two warts on his hand and he went to a wise old woman in the village and she told him to slice an orange and rub the two pieces on his hand. After he had done that, he was told to bury the orange pieces next to a big rock in the forest. He did and the warts went away.

…

But anyway, I immediately bought me som vitamin B. Now I’ll have to wait and see if this hair “cure” works or if it’s also a bunch of “crazy old woman talk”, like that warts thing. I hope it does work, or else THIS is the Bruce Willis deterioration I have to look forward to:

More “Grandma Stuff” from Lunki and Sika:
Shit my Grandma Says: Marriage
Grandma Simpson
Sh*t my Grandma Says
Living in the Hobo World

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• Bruce Willis (vaguerecall.wordpress.com)
• Dude, Where’s My Hair? (kimchibytes.wordpress.com)
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We have Beards so we know Movies: Men in Black 3 (2012)

It took ten years, a lot of rewrites and a lot of waiting on Will Smith to get some “serious movies” out of his system, but finally a third Men in Black movie was released. I must confess, after they made that second one back in 2002 (you know, the not so good one) I didn’t wan’t another one. I wasn’t excited at all when I heard they were making it. I didn’t even plan on going to the cinema to see it.

SO, why the hell did you end up going to see it Sika, you ask? Well, I had a good reason… My mother.
A couple of times a year, me and my mother go to the movies together. And I always let her choose what movie to see. And this time around our phone conversation sounded like this:

Me: So, what movie do you want to see?
Mom: I read in the newspaper they made a new Men in Black movie.
Me: Oh, okay, yeah I heard that too.
Mom: I want to see that one.
Me: Well.. have you heard of a movie called “Cabin in the Woods”? That one is supposed to be great!
Mom: What kind of movie is that?
Me: It’s a horror movie, mom.
Mom: I don’t like horror movies. Is Tommy Lee Jones in that one too?
Me: No.
Mom: I want to see Men in Black.

So we did. And I don’t regret it. Men in Black 3 was actually really great. It was! It was entertaining from beginning to end, fast-paced, funny, action-packed and the 3D was great (like, you forget it’s even in 3D and get constantly surprised that it actually is). AND, it was so much better than the second one, perhaps even as good as the first one (which I really loved).

I’m also happy that Will Smith is back doing movies we like him to do. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him in Seven Pounds and The Pursuit of Happyness, but I think I like him even more in these kind of movies, where he can do what he does best; be funny and be bad-ass. And it seems Will Smith agrees. I just glanced at his filmography over at IMDb and three out of five of his upcoming projects are:

Hancock 2, Bad Boys 3 and I, Robot 2.. I’m really excited about Bad Boys 3. Maybe that can help Martin Lawrence get back to being in funny and entertaining movies again too? I’m a bit skeptical though, but time will tell.

And finally, even though I really enjoyed Men in Black 3, I walked out of the movie theatre with a lot of questions. I say a lot, it was two. All of them Tommy Lee Jones related though..

1. Did Tommy Lee Jones dub the dialogue for Josh Brolin, who’s playing a younger version of him? It sure sounded like it.

If he didn’t, Josh Brolin must have done his “Sounding like Tommy Lee Jones” homework and deserves some kind of award for that.

2. How old is Tommy Lee Jones? The Internet says he was born in 1946, but we all know information on the Internet can be wrong.

Even my mom was like: “Wow, Tommy Lee Jones looked really old!!” I said: “Well, it was the first time we’ve seen his wrinkles in 3D, maybe that’s the reason?” We agreed that must be the case.

Go see it. The wrinkles alone is worth the ticket price.

More “We have Beards so we know Movies!” Reviews
Prometheus 
The Hunger Games
The Thing (2011) vs The Thing (1982) vs The Thing from Another World (1951)
The Turin Horse
Straw Dogs
Abduction
Midnight in Paris  Green Lantern
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Death Wish 1-5
Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D
Super 8
Melancholia
Insidious
Red Riding Hood
The Hangover Part II
Fast Five 
Thor 3D 
Tron: Legacy

Related articles

• Men in Black III Review (brettsiegelblog.wordpress.com)
• Men in Black 3 (2012) (chadwickhsaxelid.typepad.com)
• Men In Black III – Movie Review (digitalheartburn.wordpress.com)
• Men In Black 3 (shitandfarts.wordpress.com)
• Men In Black 3 – Review (moviegeekblog.com)
• Statist stämmer Columbia (aftonbladet.se)
• Lyckad återvinning av popcornäventyr (Aftonbladet PLUS)

Mockingbird Lane is mocking me

I just read that Jerry O’Connell is going to play Herman Munster in NBC’s ‘Munsters’ Reboot…

*sniffle* ..it started off great with the news of Eddie Izzard playing Grandpa, but now…  buuuuubuuhuuhuuu!

I’m inconsolable.

(P.S. I hope Lily Munster goes Piranha on O’Connell and bites his penis off. D.S.)

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• Jerry O’Connell cast as Herman Munster in NBC’s ‘Mockingbird Lane’ (Inside TV)

The Diceman Cometh. Again.

I’ve never been a huge Woody Allen fan. Sure, I like his old stand-up and some of his movies, but I’ve never been a die hard fan. Well, until last night that is, when Janne the Director told me that Woody Allen has cast comedians Louis C.K. and Andrew Dice Clay in his upcoming movie. Wow, Woody Allen, Louis C.K. and Andrew Dice Clay working on the same movie, I’d bet you’d never expected to see that? Heck, I’d bet you’d never expect to see them being mentioned in the same sentence?

Here’s hoping it’s a Ford Fairlane sequel.

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We have Beards so we know Movies: Prometheus (2012)

As soon as I heard Ridley Scott was making a prequel to Alien (1979) I knew four things:

1. I had to see it.

2. I knew I had to swallow my pride and confess that sometimes (just sometimes) it’s good that Hollywood makes prequels or reboots a franchise.

3. I knew I didn’t want to know anything about it beforehand. I love to watch certain movies not knowing what to expect. Which meant I had to 
stay the hell away from any trailers, images or actor promotion videos they were going to spread to every corner of the Internet a year or so before the premiere.

4. I knew I had to mentally prepare for the fact that I had to listen to Noomi Rapace speak English. Trust me, most Swedish actors has worse English accents than ABBA.

Tonight, after months of preparations, I finally went to see Prometheus in 3D.

And I really, really liked it! I’m not prepared to say “I loved it” yet, since I’m still so much in love with its two sequels, Alien and Aliens, but I think everyone should see it AND I can say that I did love:

1. Noomi Rapace. I really loved her performance. She felt more fragile than bad-ass Sigourney Weaver AND she’d really done her homework when it came to speaking English. It sounded near perfect in my ears.
2. Idris Elba. Wow, that man would turn me gay quicker than Ryan Gosling.
3. Michael Fassbender proved he is one of the best actors out there at the moment, by stealing pretty much every scene he’s in playing an emotionless android.
4. Charlize Theron. Made me straight again.
Sure, Prometheus had some pot holes and maybe the dialogue wasn’t the greatest I’ve ever heard, and maybe some of the “chocking reveals” wasn’t chocking enough, but I actually don’t think that mattered. The suspense was there, the gore was gory, the 3D was great, I got really scared a bunch of times, I was disgusted and entertained and the acting was pretty damn good.

The only thing that really bothered me was the fact that they put a crappy “old-man-mask” on Guy Pearce. Why? Why use a young actor to play an old character? I don’t get it. I hope Christopher Plummer or Max von Sydow sues the production for ageism.

Or is that reversed ageism? I don’t know what it would be called, so screw the lawsuit. But here’s hoping Max and Christopher at least jumps Guy Pearce during an upcoming award show and beats the hell out of him while screaming: “We could have played that role better than you, bitch!”

I’m not sure whether or not I will wake up tomorrow and change my opinion from “really, really like” to “love”, but whatever happens me and Prometheus will definitely “stay friends” and I think I would like to see her, sorry, it again.

And a sequel. I would like to see that too. There will be a Prometheus sequel, right??

More “We have Beards so we know Movies!” Reviews
The Hunger Games
The Thing (2011) vs The Thing (1982) vs The Thing from Another World (1951)
The Turin Horse
Straw Dogs
Abduction
Midnight in Paris  Green Lantern
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Death Wish 1-5
Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D
Super 8
Melancholia
Insidious
Red Riding Hood
The Hangover Part II
Fast Five 
Thor 3D 
Tron: Legacy

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• Ridley Scott and Noomi Rapace on Prometheus: ‘There may be many out there’ (theartsyfilmblog.com)
• Film Review: Prometheus (orbitaleccentricity.wordpress.com)
• ‘Prometheus’ Explores the Nature of Humanity (thesciencebulletin.wordpress.com)
• 5 Alien Parasites and Their Real-World Counterparts (purestrange.wordpress.com)
• Lyckas återupprätta rymdmonstrens heder (aftonbladet.se)
• Noomi Rapace supernervös på premiären (aftonbladet.se)
• Äckel och obehag i Rapace storfilm (aftonbladet.se)

It’s Not Easy Being Green. Or Reading Labels.

I have been a fan of The Incredible Hulk ever since I watched David Banner (Bill Bixby) try to change a tire on his car in pouring rain. This was back in the early eighties, so he needed to use his hands and a cross rim to do it instead of an app helping him out (they have invented one of those now, right?). But he wasn’t strong enough and he got mad.. And we all know what happens when Dr. Banner gets mad. He turns into The Incredible Hulk (Lou Ferrigno) who flips the car down a hill.

I was captivated and from then on out The Incredible Hulk was my favorite super hero.

Even before the recent success of The Avengers and particularly the awesomeness of The Hulk in that movie, I wrote about the amazing news that a new Hulk TV-show was in development at ABC with Guillermo del Toro onboard as executive producer. Now I’ve read there’s a new Hulk movie in the works as well! Wow, being a Hulk fan is truly great these days.

But sadly not for everyone.. I recently read about 35-year-old Paulo Henrique dos Santos from Brazil who decided to go to a costume party as his favorite green super hero. Everything was fine until he was about to wash off the green paint. It didn’t come off. He looked at the paint’s labelling and discovered that the paint was commonly used by the military to paint submarines and missiles and not really suitable as body paint. Poor man.

Put-on time: 30 minutes.
Take-off time: 24 hours (constant scrubbing)!

I find this picture of him hilarious. You can truly see how fed up he is. I’m guessing he’s in hour eight of scrubbing here. Only sixteen to go..

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• We have Beards so we know Movies: The Avengers (2012) (lunkiandsika.wordpress.com)
• Maskeradfesten tog slut – färgen satt kvar (aftonbladet.se)
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Thrash for life!

After drinking a lot of wine released by bands; like the Motorhead wine, the KISS Zin Fire Zinfandel and Rolling Stones 40 Licks, I have found that the absolutely heaviest metal red wine has been released here in Sweden. It is a Cabernet Sauvignon named Slayer – Reign in Blood. The name is taken from from Slayer’s 1986 trash album.

It’s the new company Brands For Fans that has created the wine. And since they now have opened the door for mixing thrash music and wine, I hope to see a few more wines from Brands For Fans.

Doesn’t “Sepultura – Roots Bloody Roots“, “Megadeath – Wake Up Dead” and “Metallica – Motorbreath” sound like they could become tasty bottles of red deliciousness?

I’m yet to taste the Slayer – Reign in Blood wine since it only comes in a case of six bottles. Anyone want to split a case?

Related articles

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