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Six Travel Tips for Pete Doherty

February 16, 2012

What are you guys doing between the 26th and 31st of March, 2012? Me, I’m going to attend Umeå Open, which is an indoor music festival in our hometown here in northern Sweden. I love live music so I’m definitely going the be there. And so will Pete Doherty.

..or will he? He is known to have some personal problems and to be quite unpredictable when it comes to showing up for things. To help him out, I have compiled a list for him to follow, to maximize the chances of him making it to Umeå in time for his concert.

Follow these instructions Pete and everything will be just peachy!

1. Prior to the trip
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. In other word, stay out of jail. Traveling to Sweden require this.

Also, don’t forget to pack your guitar and hat.
2. During the trip
Swedes in general and the people working at the Swedish Costums in particular are conservative when it comes to drugs. So do not bring any drugs on the plane. I know what you are thinking Pete; “I will only bring a Tesco bag with weed and a backpack with mushrooms – for personal use only”. No Pete, don’t!
3. How to find the way
The gig is in Sweden, the country of ABBA fame. Do not confuse us with Switzerland, that is were the Swiss Army knife is from. Also, it’s in the north of Sweden. So if it’s not cold and a lot of snow, you are not there yet. Keep traveling north!

4. Communicating with Swedes
Talk slowly and articulate your words. Swedes under the age of fifty-five are pretty much fluent in the English language but to be frank Peter, you have a tendency to mumble when you talk.
5. During the gig
Try to drink a moderate amount of alcohol before the gig. Swedes are really into moderate, it is a key feature in the Swedish culture. Also don’t fall asleep or throw up on the audience during the show. It is considered rude.

6. Have fun!

If you make all the requirements above I will buy you a beer after the show. See you soon Pete!the animated comedy series and blog lunki and sika

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