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We have Beards so we know Movies: The Thing (2011) vs The Thing (1982) vs The Thing from Another World (1951)

December 9, 2011

I had a The Thing marathon last night. The Thing (2011), The Thing from Another World (1951), The Thing (1982), all three of them based on the short story Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell from 1938.

And I actually watched them in that order for some reason, and in retrospect I’m glad I did. Especially that I watched the 2011 version before the 1982 one, since it’s actually a prequel (and NOT a remake which I thought, and who can blame me, a prequel with the exact same title?? That’s like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom being named Raiders of the Lost Ark)

Anyway, it IS a prequel, and even though it wasn’t as awesome as the John Carpenter’s classic from 1982, I loved how they were linked together with a bunch of details and backstories. But to really separate what I thought of them all individually I’ve given them a 1-10 rating on important things, with 10 being the highest.

The Thing From Another World (1951)

Acting/Star Quality: 8. Great dialogue delivered by great actors. None of them stars though.
Gun choice creativity: 7. rifles, guns, axes, kerosene, flare gun, electricity, machine gun
Hero awesomeness: 3. It feels more like a group effort than the work of a single hero.
Effects/Alien Design: 3. I thought “The Thing” looked like a bald Zeb Macahan. Funny enough it turned out that the alien WAS played by James Arness.
Scariness: 1

Total Points: 24

The Thing (1982)

Acting/Star Quality: 7. Maybe not an a-list cast but Kurt Russell, Wilford BrimleyRichard MasurKeith DavidDonald Moffat at least bring their a-game.
Gun choice: 6. guns, knives, kerosene , dynamite and flame throwers.
Hero awesomeness: 8. I really like 80’s Kurt Russell. He was doing so much stuff I liked. Still crossing my fingers that he re-teams up with Sylvester Stallone for a Tango & Cash sequel.
Effects/Alien Design: 8
Scariness: 8

Total Points: 37

The Thing (2011)

Acting/Star Quality: 6.5. I love that they cast real Norwegian actors (and Danish Ulrich Thomsen) to play Norwegians. And that they cast my favorite Norwegian actor Trond Espen Seim also made my day. Too bad Norwegians didn’t exist back in 1982, it would have been nice with some real ones in that movie version too.
Gun choice: 4. I can’t recall if they used anything else, if they did, it was overshadowed by the overuse of all the flamethrowers.
Hero awesomeness: 6.
Effects/Alien Design: 7. Too CGI for me, but still great.
Scariness: 6

Total Points: 29.5the animated comedy series and blog lunki and sika


No, the image below is not showcasing the evolution of the beard, instead it shows the contestants in The Greatest Beard EVER in a movie about The Thing contest. I’m kind of disappointed with 1951’s contender who has a barely noticeable chin growth (could blame it on the movie being in black and white though). He’s out. And even though Kurt Russell sports a beard who’d make Zach Galifianakis proud, the clear winner of the three is norwegian actor Kristofer Hivju with a beard so amazing I actually thought it was fake at first.

But despite the extra gold star going to The Thing (2011) the clear winner and greatest of The Thing movies, is The Thing (1982). Congratulations!

More “We have Beards so we know Movies!” Reviews

The Turin Horse (2011) —  Straw Dogs (2011)  —  Abduction (2011)  —  Midnight in Paris  —  Catfish  —   Green Lantern  —  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2  —  Death Wish 1-5  —  Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D  —  Super 8  —  Melancholia  —  Insidious  —  Red Riding Hood  —  The Hangover Part II  —  Fast Five   —  Thor 3D   —  Tron: Legacy

6 Comments leave one →
  1. December 9, 2011 10:59

    Sika, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it but you broke my Gay-dar again… Praising the awesome beard of some Norwegian and not a word about Mary Elizabeth Winstead – the only reason to actually give the The Thing prequel a shot.

    And the closest we’ll ever get a new Tango & Cash movies is probably a prequel in 3D with young stars like… some Gossip Girl douche and some Twilight douche.

    • Sika permalink*
      December 9, 2011 10:59

      Yeah, you are right, she is such a beautiful actress. She deserves if not a blog post of her own, at least a mention in the review. But since she isn’t on twitter (due to her being dead since 1982) it seems like too much work when I can’t tell her I wrote about her.

      … oh, you are talking about the girl in the 2011 movie??? I seriously thought you were talking about the beautiful .. (googling) …Margaret Sheridan from the 1951 version! Sorry, my bad.

      Mary Elizabeth Winstead? She impressed me less than Eric Christian Olsen.

      • December 9, 2011 10:59

        Now you broke my Gay-dar AND my heart. You don’t deserve your beard!

        • Sika permalink*
          December 9, 2011 10:59

          I do not only deserve my beard, I deserve a Hivju-beard. A brown one.

  2. Stuart permalink
    December 17, 2011 10:59

    I found this post whilst specifically searching for pictures of Kristofer Hivju. That should tell you everything you need to know about the awesome power of that beard.

    Yeah, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is pretty and all, but she’s no Kristofer.

    • Sika permalink*
      December 19, 2011 10:59

      I think everyone should have a daily dose of looking at Kristofer Hivju and his amazing beard. It’s soothing.

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