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Top 10 Alternative Advent Calendars (incl. Herman Cain’s)

December 2, 2011

In Sweden we have this tradition of “adventskalender”. I guess in english it would be Advent Calendar.. Duh.

It’s basically a card with 24 “windows”; where one is opened each day of December leading up to Christmas Day. Ordinarily when you open these windows all you get are crappy Christmas illustrations of Jesus or Santa, or in some cases awful bits of chocolate or crappy toys, and I used to love it as a kid but now I hate it. Are we still living in the middle ages folks? Isn’t it time to update these calenders so they fit the time we’re living in?

Here’s my Top 10 of Alternative Advent Calendars I would love to see made:

1. The Booze Advent Calendar
Why be tipsy only on Christmas Eve when you can be drunk all of December? When opening these “windows”, you get a different brand each day.

2. The 24 Advent Calendar
I love 24. Bring it back and make 24 brand new episodes and present one each day. Win.

3. Man vs Christmas Advent Calendar
A Bear Grylls inspired calender with openings containing weird foods, roots and live animals for you to eat. Accompanied by an empty drinking cup for you to fill with your own urine.

4. The Jackass Advent Calendar
A day to day prank calender. One day there’s bowl of Wasabi for you to snort, the next you get antiqued. When opening the 24th window, an elf jumps out and kicks you in the balls. Or vagina.

5. The Russian Roulette Advent Calendar
1 of the calendars sold will kill its owner. Will you survive to see this christmas?

6. The Kim Kardashian Advent Calendar
It’s going to a long wait for Christmas since this is a 72 day Calendrar.

7. Herman Cain’s Advent Calendar
A new girl every day until Christmas! (The prototype for this Calendar actually contained 999 girls, which ultimately was scrapped because it was considered a bad idea.)

8. Charlie Sheen’s Advent Calendar
Same as Herman Cain’s but you have to pay for the girls.

9. The Jay-Z Advent Calendar
24 windows and there’s a bitch in one.

10. The AA Advent Calendar
Instead of twelve steps, you get twice as many. Sadly though, it’s frequently sold together with Calender No.1 as a “buy one get one free” deal.

the animated comedy series and blog lunki and sika
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One Comment leave one →
  1. December 6, 2011 10:59

    This is really funny! Truth has been told folks!

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