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We have Beards so we know Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

July 15, 2011

Me and Janne the Director went to the movies again. This time to see the conclusion of the seven year long (in magic school time) Harry Potter adventure in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

I predicted we were going to be the oldest people there but I was wrong. There were some parents there accompanying their 8-year old daughters.

Anyway, here’s what we thought about  the movie:

JANNE THE DIRECTOR: The movies have gone darker and darker and the kids are no longer kids. But it’s still just silly wand wagging that doesn’t make any sense. The wand waving hoopla sucks ass: they just stand there and take turn saying mumbo jumbo bullshit until the other one farts to death.

It’s pretty good when the movies go into flashback mode and actually tell a story. But why couldn’t we see that play out chronologically? Seriously, you wouldn’t miss anything and things would get revealed in a much more suspenseful way than having to halt the story each time Harry finds some piece of crap thingy. “Oh, this horse turd will tell me about how my dead mother and father first saw an episode of McGyver!” and enter: FLASHBACK!

And it took them 8 bloody movies to finally show us the reason why they hired Alan Rickman. In 7 movies he just stood there, flaring his nostrils, and here he finally got to do what he is best at: act. Sadly he only get to act in another fucking flashback that plays out like the smoke cloud from Lost is farting into the camera.

The love stories? I won’t spoil anything but in this 2+ hour long movie they spend 1 minute on them (and there are about 3 of them – not counting Voldemort and his snake). The rest is wand waving and flashbacks that put the action (the wand waving) on time out.

Still, this is the 3rd best in the series and I don’t know if it should make me laugh or cry or hit kids for having such a shitty taste in movies. They all look great, especially the ones directed by David Yates. I dare to say that every frame looks like a piece of art, the colors, the textures, the art direction… it’s all magical. I just wish it was in a better series of movies.

I also like the “kids” (they are all legal now but it’s more fun to still call them kids, right?) that all have evolved from “annoying movie kids” to genuine actors. It’s pretty awesome to see them hold their own against actors like Michael Gambon, John Hurt, Warwick Davis and Warwick Davis.

Now I can’t wait for the remakes where they just get rid of the wands and magic and just make it about a military school and give the kids guns.

SIKA: I liked it.

More “We have Beards so we know Movies!” Reviews

The Complete Death Wish Collection 1-5
Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D

Super 8

X-Men: First Class


Red Riding Hood

The Hangover Part II

Fast Five

Thor 3D

Tron: Legacy
The Social Network
The Expendables
The A-Team
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 17, 2011 10:59

    This whole thing is hilarious.

    I caught it yesterday and the theater was packed with fat nerds on dates. And the fat ratio increased the popcorn consumption exponentially, which sort of detracted from the movie for me. “Harry” (smack smack smack) “I am Albus’ brother” (smack smack smack) “and I gave up a long time ago” (smack smack smack).

    Anyway, I sort of agree with both of you. I liked it quite a bit and it was everything I might have hoped for to wrap everything up. But I’m glad that I’m free from having to watch these movies every freakin’ summer, and assigning it the “kids movie” title is sort of a nice, easy way of saying “it had serious flaws but nobody should care about them”.

  2. July 17, 2011 10:59

    I think the “smack smack smack” you heard could’ve been Sika. He actually brought baby back ribs and fondue to the screening.

  3. July 17, 2011 10:59

    Last weekend, the guy sitting closest to me at “Super 8” showed up five minutes late and ate a plate of nachos out of a plastic trough. That was in between slurps of his soda.

    I’m not opposed to food at the movies at all, but once someone opens their mouth when they’re eating or smacks their lips really loudly, my brain explodes.

  4. July 17, 2011 10:59

    Then imagine sitting next to somebody (I won’t mention names) who dips baby back ribs in cheese fondue while they eat it.

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