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Sika Goes to Vansbro – Part Five: LOST

July 11, 2011

-“Where the hell am I?

I am standing alone on a dirt road in the middle of a thick forest, dressed in a t-shirt, shorts and sneakers. One hour earlier I had started a run with my friend Anna’s husband Michael and since I almost died of exhaustion after a few hundred yards we decided he would run himself and wait for me at the end of the 4 Kilometer (4K) jogging track we were on.

Somewhere between then and now I took a wrong turn. Now I am all alone. I wish I had my cell phone on me.

I keep walking along the dirt road looking for the yellow markers indicating I’m on the 4K track, but they are nowhere to be found. Maybe I’m on the 7K track or maybe even the 9K one? Or maybe I’m off the track completely. I don’t know. I keep walking.

I walk around three lakes and I’m even up on a cliff side at one time; but I’ll go wherever the dirt road leads me; which by now has turned into a small path; slivering itself through the woods.

I have no idea what time it is, but I can sense that I’ve been gone long enough for Michael to start wondering why I haven’t reached the ski lodge where the start and end of the track is located.

Half an hour later or so (I’m not sure) I hear noises coming from the woods.

“Michael?”, I yell out. But no answer. It’s not him. I keep walking and suddenly I’m out of the woods and have reached a new dirt road. A bigger one than the one before. But no sign of anyone. Now I have to decide on whether to go right or left. Since I have been walking east for quite some time, I have a sense the ski lodge is to the left. I continue walking.

I see a car up the road. The front door is open and a pair of sneakers are placed on the ground beneath. I pass the car and almost immediately reach a crossroad with two signs. One pointed left with “3K ToR” on it and another pointing right that states “2K ToR”. I have no idea what they mean. I just need to get back to the ski lodge; why can’t someone point out the way there?

“Hey, maybe there is someone in the car who knows the way?” I turn around and go back.

As I get closer to it I see a man in the passenger seat. His back is turned towards me and his shirt is off. Maybe he’s changing?

Excuse me“, I say loudly to get his attention. “Do you know the way to...” As I ask, I realize the man’s not changing his clothes at all. He is completely naked. And so is he woman he’s currently making love to. “…the ski lodge?

While the woman covers her face, the man turns to face me and says: “Sorry, I have no idea where the ski lodge is“.

Oh, okay… Thanks anyway!” I turn around and walk back to the crossroads. I decide to go right. Hopefully I will reach the ski lodge in just a while.

A little while later I realize I’m not. I do however reach a new road with a new sign: “WELCOME TO VANSBRO“. At least now I know where I am.

I am sweatier, thirstier and more tired than I’ve ever been before. I feel like I’ve participated in The Long Walk by Stephen King and won. I start walking towards town and luckily I see a house. Civilization!

I’m in luck. The house belongs to a lovely couple. The wife gets me water while I tell my “lost in the woods” story.

So, did you see the wolf?” the man asks.
Eh, nooo“, I reply. “There’s a wolf?
Oh yeah. And bears.
Really?“, I say trying not to sound scared.

I ask for the time. It’s 5pm. I’ve been out walking for three hours.

I ask to borrow their phone to let Michael and Anna know that I’m alright. I make the call and thank the nice couple for their hospitality and start walking towards town. Ten minutes later I see a car approaching. It’s honking and flashing its lights.

Anna, her husband Michael and their two kids are all in the car when they pull up beside me.

Where the hell have you been?“, Anna asks while laughing.
Yeah, that’s what I wan’t to know too“, I reply. “I followed the yellow dots and ended up here. I think I might have taken a wrong turn somewhere..
You think??

I’m too tired to laugh. But Anna is laughing for both of us. Maybe a little too much. But I guess when I get feeling back in my legs I’ll start laughing too.

Very Buff in Vansbro
Do kids still smell like pee?
A Four-Year-Old Girls Top 4 Favorite Things
Sika Goes to Vansbro – Part One: My Graceland
Sika Goes to Vansbro – Part Two: Who Farted?
Sika Goes to Vansbro – Part Three: The Vaseline Covered Spectator

Sika Goes to Vansbro – Part Four: My Stephen King Moment and a bunch of other Old References

3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 11, 2011 10:59

    Yeah… Smart you’re not.

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