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The 83rd Academy Awards 2011 Best Picture Porn Titles

February 21, 2011

Janne the Director with a Space Mahoney t-shirt from the movie No Law 4000Re-makes/-boots cums faster than my teenage dreams about becoming a porn star. Here are the ten Best Film Oscar nominated movies that the porn industry will do better:

Black Swan:
Black Schlong – Odd title considering it’s a girl-on-girl highlight.

The Fighter:
The Fister – Marky Argh & the Funky Bunch rejoins in the ring.

Inception:
Incest Son – About an English Royal family where the inbred son got a speaking disorder that can only be cured by using curse words. It’s for the smaller fetish audience that likes… British cinema.

The Kids Are All Right:
The Kids Are All Tight – Once again Annette Benning tries to act younger than she really is.

The King’s Speech:
The Cock’s Speech – Well, this sexist Hollywood adaptation really butchered “The Vagina Monologues”.

127 Hours:
127 Whores – Events occur in real time as we follow Charlie Sheen for 127 minutes.

The Social Network:
The Social Wet Dork – A nervous and sweaty Jesse Eisenberg (played by Michael Cera) takes poking to the next level as he tries to promote himself for the ladies during the award season.

Toy Story 3:
Toy Story 3-Some – Batteries not included.

True Grit:
Tug Grip – The sad history of hand jobs told by Harry Knowles.

Winter’s Bone:
Winter’s Bone – An unflinching Ozark Mountain girl hacks through dangerous social terrain as she hunts down her drug-dealing father while trying to keep her family intact.

The last one sounds promising.

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