Janne the Director’s Top 5 Worst Movies of 2011 that made him want to go back in time and kill the parents of anybody involved.

I didn’t watch too many great movies (as stated in my top 10 2011-list) and I didn’t watch too many shitty ones either. I did the mistake we all do: watch too many fucking average films. Why do we do that? That’s like drinking water – you don’t need it to survive or anything!

Hm? You do? Oh fuck…

On with the list:

Hobo with a Shotgun
They didn’t get the story of my life right at all. Rutger Hauer is great as always but the rest is a train wreck. The kind of wreck you see in Super 8 but it kills all the children instead. It tries so God damn hard to be bad that it succeeds. The thing with the kind of exploitation films it tries to copy is that back in the days when they were made they actually tried to make a GREAT movie with little to no budget. Not the other fucking way around.

Sweaty Beards
Like this film! These guys had no money and tried to make a great Swedish ”everybody talks Swenglish”-viking movie. Sure, they failed but at least they tried! The movie is what it would look like if you put a Viking helmet and a beard on Carrot Top and they locked the exits.

Conan the Barbarian
It was like watching the brainfarts coming out of a 5 year old Paul WS Anderson. I bet every scene was written by a bunch of guys with cool cars and fake suntan going “you know what would be cool?” without any idea that they were working on a Conan movie.

Just Go with It
I haven’t watched New Years Eve yet but I’m pretty sure this is what it looks like when a romantic comedy gets raped by gorillas. Can’t wait to see Jack & Jill.

Sucker Punch
“Crouch on one knee, pause & look up” — the Movie:

Why Transformers: Dark of the Moon and movies like that isn’t on the list? I don’t know, this isn’t your list.

And hey, have you forgotten which movies I thought was the crappiest of last year, then check out Janne the Director’s Top 5 Worst Movies 0f 2010!

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