Sh*t my Grandma says
I visited my 85 year old grandmother in the hospital yesterday.
She was there for her biyearly pacemaker battery change. She was in good vigor. It’s not a big procedure, just a local anesthetic and a little cut and switcharoo, it’s done. The medical progress is truly amazing. In a couple of years she’ll probably look like Iron Man, having a hole in her chest and changing her batteries herself.
So I spent a couple of hours with her talking about this and that; and she starts complaining about not recognizing the celebrities on the pictures when she’s doing her crossword puzzles. And then she goes on a rant worthy of Dennis Miller. She said:
“The girls all look alike these days, skinny, blond and pale as ghosts. And how about those celebrity couples? They marry one week, divorce the next and re-marry each other again one week later. That’s a busy month, I’ll tell you.
And if they are not marrying or divorcing, they are drinking and drugging and standing on roofs drinking animal pee. I’ll tell you. Cary Grant would never.. I say NEVER do that.”
I started saying: “Actually grandma, Charlie Sheen wasn’t drinking animal pee, it was.. Never mind, animal pee would have been more sane.”
That’s my 85 year old grandma for you. I couldn’t be prouder!
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